My Life as a Teenage Werewolf
by LadyClassical
Summary: Prom 1974 is exactly one week before the full moon, and Remus Lupin is feeling miserable. While everyone else is having fun, he has to deal with his "symptoms", which are coming early this month. And it's getting harder and harder to hide it from his suspicious friends, who would surely ditch him if they knew the truth. What's a 13-year-old werewolf to do? Marauders year 3.
1. The Glass Duck

"How much is this duck?" asked James Potter, looking at the cashier inquisitively. His three best friends were standing behind him. Sirius had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot impatiently, as Peter and Remus shared some chocolate frogs they'd picked up at Honeydukes. James was holding a huge glass duck, and he set it on the counter.

"200 Galleons," the cashier replied.

James balked at the amount, and whispered to Sirius, "Have you got 60 Galleons on you, mate?"

"I'm not paying for your goddamn duck," said Sirius shortly. "Can we get out of here?"

"It's not _my_ duck, it's Evans's duck!" James was indignant.

"Exactly, and buying her a duck is not going to help your chances with her saying yes when you ask her to prom." Sirius scowled. "There are plenty of girls who love you, why don't you go with one of them?"

"Because I don't love them," said James, his voice sounding almost whiny. "This is so unfair. The only girl who doesn't love me is the one I'm in love with."

"Look, _I'll_ pay for it!" said Remus, shoving his hand into his schoolbag. They had been there forever, and he was starting to feel exhausted after walking around all day. Besides ten textbooks, and at least twenty chocolate frogs, he had his money in there too. Since chocolate and school supplies were just about the only things he spent money on, he had accumulated quite a bit of it, mostly because he took a job as a junior camp counselor over the summer, and he had his allowance too.

"Thanks," said James gratefully, taking the 60 Galleons from Remus, and pulling out 140 of his own. James had rich parents, but they had recently been reluctant to send him much money, mostly because he was always spending it on his crush, Lily Evans.

"You excited about prom, Remus?" Peter mumbled, his mouth full of chocolate.

"No," said Remus. "I'm only going because you three are going."

"I'm not going," said Peter. "None of the girls I asked want to go with me."

"I thought we were going as a group of friends," Sirius was heard saying. "Prom is in one week, you can't hang us out to dry now!"

"Too bad!" Peter swallowed his chocolate. "I'm not going!"

"I-I'll go," said Remus weakly. True, he didn't really like parties, but he didn't want to be cooped up in his dorm room while the rest of the school was down in the Great Hall having prom. First and second years were considered too young to go to prom, and Sirius and James always talked about going. Since they were finally third years, their excitement was mounting. It sounded almost fun to Remus, and besides, they'd probably have a chocolate fountain there so…what was the harm? After all, if James and Sirius didn't think he was "cool", they'd probably ditch him.

"Evans is going to say yes!" James said. "I'll have a date for prom!"

" _Never_ gonna happen," said Sirius, as James paid for the big glass duck.

As they walked down the street, the other three started talking some more about prom, and Remus wanted to join in, but he was starting to feel a bit annoyed at them. Why couldn't James stop obsessing about Lily, and why was Remus too shy to ask a girl out himself? School was almost over (it was Saturday, March 31, 1974), and he liked school a lot. Things had been crazy with prom going on, but he'd still marked his calendar for the full moon, which was supposed to be in two weeks. After eight years of lycanthropy, he didn't even need to look it up anymore, all he did was count the number of weeks until the next month, and he was done with it.

It was strange, actually—he didn't usually get this cranky until the week before the full moon. But then again, his symptoms could come early if he was under stress, and the coming of prom had made everyone stressed out, especially James, who was plotting his "promposal" for Lily.

"So d'you think I should do it in front of the whole school?" he was asking Sirius. "I know! I could sit up in a tree, and one by one throw lilies onto her head—after I have tenderly embraced every single flower."

"Is this before or after you give her the glass duck?" said Sirius dryly.

James just glared, and so did Remus, because he was sick of this! Oh no—literally. There was now this nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach again. If his symptoms were coming _now_ , how bad would they be next week? Peter offered him a chocolate frog and his stomach lurched at the thought of eating. Unknowingly, he gripped onto James's arm, and his friend looked at him with concern.

"Do you want to sit down for a bit, mate?" he asked.

"I-I'm f-f…" Remus clapped his hands over his mouth, because if he talked, he'd vomit.

"C'mon," said Sirius, who was leading him to sit down on a bench, and he and James looked quickly at each other. "Are you sick again, Remus?"

"N-No," he mumbled.

"Don't worry, it'll be over before you know it," said James, and Remus wondered what he meant by that. Sirius sat down on the bench and put his arm around Remus, who was working hard at not throwing up. Even though the Healers at St. Mungo's told him not to "suppress the urge", he didn't want to empty his stomach in front of his three friends on the streets of Hogsmeade where everyone was watching. Stupid prom, stupid James chasing after Lily, stupid chocolate, stupid lycanthropy, stupid everything, he thought. Remus had promised his friends he'd go to prom with them, but wouldn't he just ruin it for them, having a severe headache, throwing up, perhaps having an emotional breakdown?

Prom would be horrible. It was scheduled exactly one week before the full moon, and except for the actual full moon day, that was the day he felt worst. That was the day he could hardly pull himself out of bed, and even though he took painkillers for his headaches, he'd vomit them all right up again sometimes. Then for the rest of the week the only thing he could eat without throwing up was chocolate, which tasted better than usual, and he was cranky all day. Then there was the full moon day, which was pretty much hell, and night, when he'd have to sneak out of his dorm room and down to the Shrieking Shack. Every so often, one of his roommates would wake up and ask where he was going, and he'd say he was just on his way to the bathroom, or getting a snack, or whatever else he could think of, but it was hard to explain why he wasn't back until morning.

When he was first bitten as a five-year-old, the Healers had told his distraught parents that he would lead an "almost normal" life, but that every full moon day would be horrible for him. Unfortunately he'd discovered that it was the whole week that bothered him, not just the day, and the whole thing had somehow gotten a lot worse since puberty hit (apparently this would even itself out at around eighteen). Being a werewolf stunk, and the fact that he had to hide it from his best friends was the worst part. No way would they ever hang out with him if they knew who he really was, _what_ he really was.


	2. Sick Day

It was about 2:30 P.M. later that day. James had gone off to practice flying and Sirius and Peter went to watch him. Of course, they'd asked the fourth member of their gang to come too, but Remus just told them he wanted to take a nap. When he finally woke up, the first thing he did was run to the toilet and throw up. It tasted like the milkshake he'd downed earlier that day before James had bought his stupid glass duck…but he didn't have the energy to brush his teeth….or even use mouthwash…

All he could do was stumble back into bed and groan. He felt less sick now, but no less headachy. And every muscle in his body seemed to ache. It took all his energy to lift up his wand hand and break something with it. Maybe he'd break the stupid glass duck. _Ha_. Remus glared for a moment, then repaired it. Of course, he wouldn't permanently break James's gift, even though he was sure Lily would only be annoyed by it.

Remus heard laughter and music down in the common room, and he wanted to kill whoever was making that noise, partly because noise hurt his headache, and partly because he couldn't join in. He groaned and felt tears in his eyes. Literally he felt like dying. That was when he heard a knock, and the door swung open.

Lily Evans was standing there, with the other Marauders behind her. She was carrying a flask of something.

"H-Hi, Remus," she said uncertainly. "Are you all right?"

Lily didn't like James or Sirius much, but she was casual friends with Remus. (That's why James was always saying, "Put in a good word for me, mate.") When he looked up, he asked her what was in the flask. His voice was shaky.

"It's a calming drought," Lily told him. "I thought it might help. I made it myself."

"Wow, Evans, that's O.W.L. level." James sounded impressed.

"Potions is one of my favorite subjects," Lily replied without looking at him.

"Thanks," said Remus, taking it from her uncertainly. Still, he felt hot. "Am I burning up?"

Lily felt his forehead with the back of her hand. "Oh God, yes. You should be staying in bed."

"I hope you'll be all right for prom," said James.

"Prom…" Remus buried his head in his pillow. Of course he would feel awful on that day, and of course he would have to pretend he felt fine. But two weeks before full moon, he usually felt fine. _It's the stress_ , he reminded himself.

"What's this?" Lily was heard asking.

"Oh, um, that's a gift for you," said James, sounding a little embarrassed. "It's…it's a duck. You can…put it on your nightstand or something."

Remus peeked at them. James looked like he was regretting his purchase, and Remus wondered if he should have just let the duck stay smashed. Before he could think more of it he felt a sharp, strong pain somewhere in the small of his back, and he cried out.

"What is it?!" said James, almost dropping the glass duck, which he was trying to transfer to Lily.

"Just…somebody _please_ get me my Advil," Remus groaned, motioning to the bedside. Lily, eager to get away from her awkward encounter with James, grabbed it and handed it to him, along with a glass of water.

"Do you want a chaser too?" she asked.

"No. I can't eat," said Remus.

"Shall I take you to Madame Pomfrey?" Lily looked worried now.

"NO!" Remus said. Like all the staff, Madame Pomfrey knew about his "condition", and he didn't want any more attention being drawn to it. At a time of his life when all he wanted to do was fit in, he had something that made him Different, and the last thing he wanted was anyone treating him like it. So he just tossed two pills in his mouth and swallowed them with the glass of water.

"Well, I hope you feel better soon, Remus," said Lily, giving his head a pat and leaving the Marauders' dorm room.

"Wait! Evans!" James hollered. "You forgot your duck!"

But she was long gone. James scowled and flopped down on his bed. Remus felt the bedsprings squeak slightly as Sirius sat down on his bed.

"Anything you want to tell us, mate?" he asked, his tone of voice indecipherable.

"How about to leave me the hell alone?" Remus snapped.

Sirius looked shocked. "Um…okay, if that's what you want."

"It IS what I want!" Remus felt guilty when he yelled at his friends. The way he felt wasn't _their_ fault. Still, they were annoying him again. After all, THEY didn't have to feel like crap one week out of every four. THEY didn't have to worry about becoming social outcasts due to a "condition" they had. THEY weren't told they could live "almost normal" lives when actually, this life was anything but normal.

Peter looked frightened, Sirius looked bewildered, and James still looked grumpy about Lily and how she had rejected the duck, just like she always rejected him.

"I-I've got some urgent homework assignments to work on," Peter squeaked. "I'm going to the library."

"I'll come with you!" Sirius told him.

"And I need to give Evans her duck!" said James.

The three other Marauders traipsed out of the dorm room, just like Lily had. _Just like how they'll walk out on me if they discover my secret_ , he thought to himself. His stomach was feeling nauseous again, which meant he wouldn't be able to keep the Advil down. Thinking of his physical discomfort, but mostly of his friends, he started to cry quietly into his pillow. Nobody heard, and that was just how he wanted it.


	3. Breakfast

The next morning, Remus felt a little better, enough to eat breakfast with the other Gryffindors at the table that morning. He'd gotten up extra early so he didn't have to talk to them, but as soon as he saw them, he apologized for the way he acted.

"Forget it, Remus," said Sirius lightheartedly. "You were sick. I would've been grumpy too."

"Thanks," said Remus, grateful for his friends.

"You're _always_ getting sick," Peter commented.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," said James.

"But why?" Peter asked.

"If I _knew_ , maybe I would be able to _do_ something about it," Remus mumbled, even though that wasn't true at all. There was nothing anyone could do about it. He had no appetite as he stared at his bacon and over-easy eggs. James squinted and looked at Sirius, but Peter and Remus didn't notice.

Remus didn't get why he was feeling this way…didn't this happen to him EVERY month, since kindergarten? Maybe because it was coming early, or because he knew prom night would not be fun like it would be for his friends. Well, what could he do? The only reason he was cool, he thought sometimes, was because he hung out with the most popular boys in school. Really, he was just a nerd, and for the class of 1978 at Hogwarts, being nerdy wasn't cool unless you were a Ravenclaw (they were supposed to be nerds).

Gryffindors were supposed to be confident, outgoing, friendly, loud. Just like James and Sirius. But Remus might not even have _known_ Sirius and James, except that they, along with Peter, had been his roommates since day one at Hogwarts. Students were allowed to ask for different dorm assignments than the default, but of course the Marauders were happy to be together (although Sirius would sometimes give James crap about wanting to stay in Lily's dorm).

"You know, I'm sure your mother would want you to eat something more than chocolate," Sirius said, as he watched Remus withdraw another chocolate frog from his schoolbag. It was the only thing he knew wouldn't make him sick. The three other Marauders watched him cram the confections down his throat.

"Sorry," said Remus, "but it's just so good."

"Well yeah, but—" Sirius was cut off by the morning mail. James seemed particularly excited when he took his gift off the owl's foot.

"Oh my God!" James looked excited. "My parents sent me the newest Rolling Stones record, 'Goats Head Soup'!"

"'Goats Head Soup'?" Remus was temporarily distracted. Soup made from goats' heads didn't sound appetizing to him no matter what.

"They're my favorite band," James said. "Even if they are a Muggle band. They're popular in America, too. Wanna play the record when we get back to the dorms?"

"Yeah, that record player thing is pretty cool," said Peter. Since none of them had grown up in Muggle homes, this was new to them. But James did love his record player, almost as much as he loved Quidditch. He was still jabbering about how maybe they could go to a Rolling Stones concert one day, when Lily sat down across from them. That made him stop talking almost immediately. Lily's dark ginger hair was curled, tumbling down her back and shoulders, and her green eyes were gleaming like emeralds. She was already in her school uniform, a white button-down shirt with a red-and-gold tie, a red-and-gold uniform skirt that went halfway down her thighs, white stockings and Mary-Jane shoes. On her left wrist she wore a watch; on the right, a Gryffindor bracelet gently clinked as she put her water glass up to her carefully made-up lips. Lip gloss was the only makeup Lily wore. There was some incantation the girls used to keep their makeup on, but of course none of the boys knew what it was. Lily's nails were painted red, ladylike but still bold. Of course, today James was staring at her chest, but she either didn't notice or just ignored it.

Remus was wearing his school sweater, with his own red-and-gold tie tucked neatly in. So was Peter, but he couldn't figure out how to tie his tie so one of his friends always had to do it for him. Sirius was wearing his white button-down, but it wasn't tucked in, like it was supposed to be. The tie was loose around his neck. James's tie was tied, but in a casual way, so that it was knotted not at his neck but more like down his chest. Remus could tie a tie in a normal way but not how James and Sirius sometimes wore them. Of course, when they were feeling really silly, they might wear the ties around their heads.

"All right, Remus?" Lily asked casually, reaching for some whole-wheat toast.

"Yeah…maybe all I needed was sleep," Remus said. This was sort of true, at least.

"Anyway, I'm still deciding on my dress for prom," Lily continued. "Which is better—green to go with my eyes, or red and gold for House pride?"

"I think you'd look wonderful no matter what!" James blurted, but his mouth was full of scrambled eggs, so they landed on Lily's chest. Her mouth tightened for a moment, then she took a napkin to wipe it off.

"Maybe you should swallow before you talk, Potter…"

"Oh my God, Evans, I'm so sorry!" James's face was beet-red. "I-I have to go to the bathroom!"

James bolted out of the cafeteria. Sirius and Peter were in hysterics, causing all the other Gryffindors at the table to stare.

"I don't know how you stand it, Remus." Lily snorted with laughter. "Black and Potter are just obnoxious, and Pettigrew is a total train-wreck. You're the only one who's a gentleman, y'know what I mean?"

Remus smiled slightly in spite of himself. Maybe even the coolest kids had embarrassing things happen to them sometimes.


	4. Tuxedo Shopping

It was Tuesday. Prom was Saturday night, only four days away. Remus had been feeling vomitty all morning (though not as bad as last Saturday) and he was dreading Prom Night even more. That was his second-to-worst day of every month. Every time he moved a joint, like his elbows, knees or neck, they pained him terribly. This was insane. Usually around this time he felt fine. But the other Marauders wanted him to go tuxedo shopping with them in Diagon Alley, so he did, pledging to hide his sickness. Remus was feeling too weak to stand up, so he sat in a chair while the other Marauders tried on their tuxedos.

"Does this suit make my butt look fat?" said Sirius jokingly, turning around to admire himself from all points of view, knowing perfectly well that he was nothing less than a tuxedo-wearing treat, head to toe.

"It's like I was born perfect," James added, looking at his tuxedo.

"My suit's kind of stuffy," Peter commented, tugging at the neckline.

"Remus, aren't you going to pick one out?" Sirius asked, placing a fedora on his head and grinning. "Wow, I'm going to have to make sure I don't set my date on fire with this amount of hotness."

"Um, you can pick one for me," Remus mumbled nervously. "I'll try it on in the dorm room."

"No, you should try it on here," James told him. "Otherwise we'll have to go all the way back, won't we?"

"What, are you in some sort of hurry?" said Sirius.

"No, but I don't particularly like shopping!" James reminded him. "I'd rather just—oh my God, look who it is…"

Sure enough, there was Snape, getting fitted for a tuxedo. Remus noticed the tailor was gagging, probably because Snape hadn't washed his hair and it smelled. Once you get into your teens, your hair gets a lot greasier, and Remus had been keeping up on that, making sure he washed his hair every day. But apparently, Snape didn't get that message.

"What are those stains on the suit shoulders?" Snape grouched.

"That's just grease," said the tailor. "I think it dripped from your hair."

Sirius was watching Snape and smirking. Of all the Marauders, and maybe all the boys in the school, he had the best hair. James's hair was always messy, even though he washed it. Snape's hair was always covered in grease, and Remus found himself wondering if Snape understood hygiene.

"Who on Earth does he think he's going with?" James whispered.

"Maybe he's going with Evans!" Peter hissed.

"Oh, he is not!" James glared. "They're just _friends_ , that's all!"

"Don't tell me you're jealous of old Snivellus, mate," said Sirius. "That's just sad."

"Maybe he's just going solo," Remus offered.

"Uh-huh." James still looked angry. Remus knew he was worried that Lily Evans actually was going to prom with Snape. James Potter's only weakness was Lily Evans. "Remus, how about you ask her? Ask her if she's going with Snape."

"Well…maybe…" Remus was unsure. Lily would definitely realize that he was a spy. Snape suddenly sneezed all over the tailor's hands, snot exploding out of his nostrils.

"I have a cold," said Snape by way of explanation.

"When do you NOT have a cold, Snivelly?" James yelled loudly.

Sirius and James were now trying and failing to suppress their laughter. Snape's head spun around, his oily locks whapping the tailor across the face.

"You!" Snape hissed, and he was going to run at James, but the tailor had a measuring tape around his neck, so he just tripped and fell down, taking the changing curtain down with him. Peter, James and Sirius were all howling. Remus felt bad laughing at a fellow student, so he stared down at the ground. James pulled out his wand and made the curtain rod smack Snape in the rear end a few times like he was being paddled.

"OW!" Snape screeched, as tears of mirth streamed out of Sirius's eyes. "OW! OW! OW!"

Snape pulled out his own wand and bewitched the measuring tape to wrap itself around James's neck. James made a choking sound and grabbed at his throat, but it was tightening. Sparks flew from Sirius's own wand, and he tied Snape up in magical ropes. Peter meant to cast some kind of spell on Snape too, but it misfired and soon the tailor had an ant for a head.

Remus couldn't just watch this! He had to get the measuring tape off James's neck, and he needed to untie Snape from the ropes. So he got onto his feet and was just about to shout " _Expelliarmus!"_ when he began to feel dizzy.

" _Expelli_... _expelli_ …" Remus was taking big gulps of breath to keep the room from spinning. Perhaps he had stood up too fast. Sirius quickly used his wand to stop the measuring tape from strangling James, and he made it smack into Snape's slimy head.

"All right, Reem?" James looked concerned now.

"Y-Yeah…" Remus was starting to feel that familiar, horrible sensation in his stomach. "Oy, you…you got a bathroom in here? I had…too much to eat at breakfast…"

Actually, that wasn't true. Really, he needed the john because he had to throw up again. The tailor couldn't understand, because he had an ant head, so James turned the tailor back to normal with a flick of his wand. The tailor told them they didn't have a bathroom in the tuxedo shop.

"Hey, how 'bout I make you a laxative potion?" Snape jeered.

"How 'bout I make you a cyanide potion?" Sirius shot back as he grabbed Remus's arm. "C'mon, I'm sure we can find a restaurant nearby…We'll come back to buy the suits tomorrow."

James groaned, because he wanted to be done shopping, but what could he do? Remus was holding onto Sirius and James, because his knees were feeling weak. Finally they managed to stop into a shabby-looking little diner on the side of the road. Remus ran into the bathroom marked "Wizards" while his friends waited outside, and soon found himself hurling into the toilet.

This was awful. Prom was on Friday, and he wasn't feeling any better. There would be another week of this before the full moon on April 11, 1974. How was he going to stand it?


	5. Promposals

Thursday was the day before the day before prom, and this was the day James Potter was planning on asking Lily Evans to prom. Ever since Dumbledore had announced Prom of the 1973-1974 school year, he had been driving the other Marauders insane with discussions of his promposal. But it couldn't wait any longer. He'd even bought her a corsage—of course, it was a lily.

Finally he caught her sitting by the lake with a few of her friends. They had their shoes and stockings off and were cooling their feet in the water, watching for the giant squid. Lily's hair whas straight today, held back by a red-and-gold House Pride barrette. She was wearing gold hoop earrings, gold bracelets and a gold necklace; her nails and lips were scarlet.

House Pride was the big trend this year—the boys wore hats, scarves, gloves, ties, T-shirts, lapels, but it was the girls who really had fun, who took it to the next level (especially the older girls, who were naturally more daring). Just like Lily, plenty of Gryffindor girls wore bright red lipstick and tons of gold jewelry, sometimes with red rubies. Pretty much every Ravenclaw girl wore blue eyeshadow and eyeliner with bronze lipstick, or the other way around. Hufflepuff girls wore black lipstick and painted their nails yellow, and a lot of them had stuffed badger key chains dangling from their school bags. It wasn't uncommon to see a Slytherin girl with silver ribbons braided into her hair like tinsel, green and silver painted nails, silver lipstick and green eye makeup. One would be hard-pressed to find a girl in school who didn't own a House bracelet. Many girls even dyed their hair (unless, of course, their hair color already corresponded with House colors, such as a blonde Hufflepuff). Most likely, the girls' prom dresses would reflect House colors. The boys understood House Pride, but not so much fashion trends in girls. Of course, everyone was just coming out of the 1960's, so nobody was really very refined when it came to fashion.

Sirius, Remus and Peter hung back and watched as James slowly approached Lily sitting by the water. She was chatting to a small Ravenclaw girl who was braiding a bronze ribbon into her long, dyed-blue hair. The other Marauders were close enough to hear the conversation.

"Lily Evans," said James. "Could I ask you a question?"

"What is it, Potter?" Lily already knew what his question would be, of course.

"Would you…would you be my prom date?" James asked, holding out her lily corsage.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, but someone else is already taking me," Lily said in a dignified way. "Maybe next year."

"What—who's taking you?" James demanded.

"I am," said a familiar voice—all four Marauders gasped when they saw Snape.

" _Snivellus_ is taking you to prom?!" James looked furious, especially when Snape shot him a smug grin.

"That's right, Potter," he said snottily. "I've got _your_ girl."

"Why you little—" James was about to run at Snape, but before he could, Lily talked.

"Come on, Sevykins," she said. "We don't need these party poopers, do we?"

"No," said Snape, giving James one last self-satisfied look, "we don't."

As they walked away, Remus thought he saw tears in James's hazel eyes, but they seemed to be more out of temper; he picked up a rock and prepared to hurl it in Snape's direction, but Sirius grabbed it out of his hand.

"Don't do that, mate," said Sirius. "You'll just get detention, and it won't make Evans love you."

"I hate him!" James threw his rock across the lake instead, then sunk down onto the ground. Lily's Ravenclaw friend gave him a weird look, picked up her school bag, and left. "I hate him so much! He's just doing it to piss me off! Snot-nosed little bastard!"

"You can't let it get to you, then," Remus told him thoughtfully. Today he was feeling okay; Saturday he would feel like crap and a half, but, as he did every month, he was trying to convince himself that he wouldn't. True, he was excused from classes each full moon day (so he could wish he was dead in his dorm room, as opposed to wishing he was dead in a classroom), but he'd rather go to class. Besides, Saturday wasn't the full moon day, it was just the start of the full moon _week_ , which was incredibly depressing, and he didn't get excused from his classes on that day. However, classes were off due it being the weekend, so he could get some sleep during the day, and hopefully he would be well enough to go with James and Sirius that night.

The four third-year boys started their walk back to Gryffindor tower, James looking sulky, when they bumped into Lily's friend and a Hufflepuff girl with black lipstick, yellow-and-black nails and a black ribbon braided into her golden-blonde hair.

"Mr. Black!" the Hufflepuff said breathlessly. "We wanted to ask you something!"

"Do you think we _both_ could be your date for prom on Friday?" the Ravenclaw added. Remus noticed that both girls were both very pretty, especially the Ravenclaw; her blue eyeliner seemed to bring out the blue in her eyes.

"Why, how nice of you to ask," said Sirius silkily, kissing both their hands in turn. "I'd be glad to."

"Thanks!" the girls shrieked, giggling as they ran away, the Hufflepuff's badger key chain swinging wildly. Remus saw them high-five each other.

"You're taking two girls, Sirius," James said darkly, "but I don't even get one."

…

Thursday didn't pass so quickly for Remus. Since his right shoulder seemed to have cramped up, he had to bewitch his quill to take avid notes for him. Two passing periods were devoted to the porcelain goddess, and he had to run to get to class on time. All he could eat at lunch were chocolate frogs. Luckily, though, his mood had remained stable, and when they headed to the common room at night, his body felt awful, but he was happy to be with his friends.

When they got up to their dorm room, Remus was too tired to change out of his school uniform, although his school sweater was getting a bit hot, so he yanked it off and tossed it into the hamper. (Of all four of them, he was the only one who kept on top of his laundry.) With a heat pad for his shoulder cramp, Tylenol for his headache, and a mountain of chocolate frogs nearby, he was feeling a little better.

The four of them talked a little bit about prom—Sirius seemed excited, and James still wanted to go, despite the situation with his enemy, Snape. Peter still wasn't going, but Remus was thinking that if he could just get enough sleep, and take enough painkillers, tomorrow might actually be fun.

i


	6. Getting Ready

" _Look, it can't be a coincidence, there's no other explanation—"_

" _Believe me, I've noticed, but you know I hate to pry—"_

" _Well, Sirius, maybe he wishes you would!"_

Remus was awoken on Saturday morning by James and Sirius arguing—about what, he didn't know. It was maybe around seven or eight in the morning; the light from the window hit Remus's eyes like a laser. His head was pounding with pain; he groped blindly around on his nightstand for his Advil before realizing that his right arm was cramped up nearly to the point of paralysis, and his back wasn't feeling too good either. James and Sirius finally noticed he was awake when they noticed him vomiting over the side of the bed—luckily, they'd mastered vanishing spells by now.

This was the beginning of full moon week, all right. This was normal. Was Remus miserable? Yes. Was he concerned or surprised? No, not at all.

"Are you all right?" James was heard asking. Remus squinted up at him. Just like Sirius, he was wearing a red-and-gold Gryffindor bathrobe. His hair was wet, making it seem even messier than usual. Clearly, they'd both just finished their showers. Remus could hear the water running in the bathroom and realized Peter must still be in there. Just like every dorm, they had two shower stalls; Remus would usually get up first because he took early morning classes, James and Sirius would get up at the same time about an hour later, and they made Peter shower last because otherwise he took all the hot water. These sorts of things had to be considered when you had roommates. But on the week before the full moon, Remus slept in. The teachers, of course, let in on his secret, never questioned why he didn't show up for his early classes, and if they chastised him, they'd have to answer to Dumbledore, who was generally a kind wizard but could be quite intimidating if he wished.

"N-No…" There was no point in hiding it; a person without a brain could see that he wasn't all right. And he already had a reputation for being the sickliest student in school, so this probably wasn't a shocker.

"Reem, you never changed out of your school uniform," said Sirius. "I'll help you get some pajamas on while James gets your meds, all right?"

"Meds? Advil…?" Remus let his head collapse onto the pillow. If only he had something that was actually designed for his symptoms, not just a pile of anti-inflammatory OTC drugs. After all, he couldn't possibly be the only person in the world with lycanthropy, right? Well, most people thought he was a menace to society, so why would they even bother? They couldn't even consider _once_ that maybe he was just like any other third-year except for this one nightmare of a week, something the Healers swore would only be an inconvenience but what the hell did they know—

"Yeah," said James, messing with the box and interrupting Remus's complaint-thoughts. "Damn, I hate those stupid child-proof seals."

"How hard d'you think it would be to get morphine instead?" Remus was only half-joking.

"Aw, don't say that, Reem." Sirius, looking sympathetic, was trying to pull Remus out of bed. "I'm sure it's not _that_ bad."

"What would you know?" Remus snapped.

"Listen, mate, I can see you aren't going to be able to make it to prom tonight," Sirius said carefully. "Do you want us to stay in Gryffindor tower with you?"

"No, I'm going to be able to go! I just need some sleep!" Remus protested, just as he had a sharp pain in his back like he'd been stabbed. "Ow…and some painkillers, maybe…"

 _You'll feel better tomorrow_ , he reminded himself. Although the following week wouldn't exactly be a laugh, it was only this day, besides June 13 one week from now, that would be truly disabling. It was eight in the morning now, so prom started in twelve hours. Surely that would be enough time to rest.

"Let us take care of you until that slowpoke Peter gets out of the shower," James was saying as he pulled a Queen T-shirt on over his head, further messing up his dark hair and setting his glasses askew. As he stepped into some jeans, Sirius was pulling out a shopping bag.

"Besides, guess what I found for us in Diagon Alley." Sirius was grinning. "Besides getting our suits, I also got us these…skinny ties in House Pride colors!"

"Skinny ties went out of fashion almost a decade ago, mate." James rolled his eyes. "What were you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we're bringing vintage back," Sirius replied. "Come on. If you and I accidentally wore our underwear on our heads, the next day the whole school would be doing it. We're total trendsetters."

"True," said James.

Sirius helped Remus into pajamas, as they were more comfortable than his school uniform, which he had once again been too exhausted to change out of last night. Both his friends helped him into bed, then James got his meds while Sirius got dressed.

"If there's _anything_ you want to tell us, Reem," said Sirius pointedly, "you know you can."

"Like what?!" Remus was forced to tell another lie. "I don't KNOW what's wrong with me!"

"Look, that's not what I—"

"It is too what you meant!"

"Hey, guys," said Peter, stepping out of the shower wearing his Gryffindor bathrobe. "What's all the noise?"

"And you!" Remus continued, pointing at him. "You probably took all the hot water again, didn't you?! I have to get a shower too, y'know!"

"Well jeez, what's your problem?" Peter demanded.

"I think you're the one with the problem!"

"Come on, mate, talk to us," said James, sitting down on the bed. "If you just tell us what's wrong, I'm sure we can help. We didn't mean to upset you. Peter, stop taking all the goddamn hot water."

"Sorry," said Peter meekly.

"N-No, I'm sorry," Remus mumbled, trying to sit up, but that was when his back started bothering him again, so he just turned over on his side and tried to hide tears that were welling up in his eyes. Now he wasn't angry, just very sad. "There's…there's no excuse for me to be yelling at you."

"We understand, Remus," said Sirius. "We understand."

"Do you want us to stay with you?" James offered.

"No thanks…I just want to get some rest," Remus told them. So one by one, the other Marauders left the room, and Remus tried to go to sleep, except his painkillers hadn't kicked in yet (if they were ever going to kick in) and he wanted to eat some of his chocolate frogs, but he was too weak to reach for them. So he just did the only thing he could think of to do—curl up into a ball and cry.

Finally, he was disturbed by an _"Alohamora"_ and the door swinging open. Remus tried to quiet his crying so the visitor wouldn't hear, but he was surprised at who it was: "Mr. Lupin?"

"H-Headmaster?"

"Just wanted to remind you, be at the Great Hall by eight if you want to—oh dear, are you all right?"

"Obviously not," Remus mumbled, trying to hide the sound of a stuffed-up nose.

"I didn't schedule Prom 1974 for a full moon, did I?" Dumbledore looked concerned.

"No, but you did for a week before, which is almost as bad," Remus told him. "But don't worry…I don't expect you to plan these things based on the lunar cycle—unless we were a whole school of werewolves. Although that might be kind of nice, 'cause at least I wouldn't be alone in my misery…"

"But you've shown that with a few accommodations, you can do as well at school as anyone else." Dumbledore sat down on Sirius's bed, the one closest to Remus's. "You might have prefect status going for you in a couple of years. The problem is the stigma surrounding your condition, not the condition itself. You're not a monster; you have to believe that."

"But that's not what matters," Remus told him. "What I'm scared of is that if anyone finds out, they'll spread it around school and I'll have to leave. If my _friends_ find out, they'll desert me."

"Are you sure about that?" Dumbledore said softly.

"Mm-hmm."

"Do you want me to get you a Sleeping Draught?" Dumbledore offered, after a pause. "I don't think the Advil is going to do it."

"That'd be great, thanks," Remus said gratefully. "The more sleep I get before prom, the better I'll be."

…

Remus awoke again at six that night. It was still light out, although of course it would be dark by the time prom started at eight. When he cracked open his eyes, Sirius and James were standing in front of the full-length mirror in their dorm room, adjusting their ties, trying on their suits, making sure everything was just right. James was putting a liberal amount of gel in his hair, trying to get it to lie flat. It wasn't just the skinny ties that reflected House Pride; their suits had trimmings of red and gold as well.

"Oh, good, you're awake," said Sirius, watching Remus. "But, how do you feel?"

"Hmm…" Remus sat up. After some sleep, his headache had gotten better, and the nausea was kept to a minimum, maybe because he hadn't eaten anything except chocolate frogs all day? Luckily, the Advil had done his general aches and pains well, although he guessed it would be wise to not dance too much. Mostly, he was just groggy. "I feel a lot better, actually."

"Great!" James hoisted Remus out of bed and shoved him towards the bathroom. "Take a shower, then we'll get you ready for prom."

Remus found that getting dressed up for prom was actually enjoyable with his friends. Their enthusiasm for prom was contagious. James was excited because they'd be playing music by all the latest rock bands, like Queen, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and of course the Beatles. Of course, he hoped to catch a dance with Lily too. Sirius was glad to have two dates.

"If I did have a date," said Remus, tying his red-and-gold skinny tie, "I'd want it to be with a Hufflepuff. If I ever got married, I'd want my wife to be to a Hufflepuff, I think."

"Well, you can have mine if you want," Sirius told him. "I think the Ravenclaw is the hotter one. I mean, I don't care as long as the girl is hot, really, but if I had to choose I'd pick a Ravenclaw girlfriend."

"Why?" James smirked. "Because they like to experiment?"

"Shut up," said Sirius, but he was laughing too.

"So…how do I look?" Remus asked, once they all were ready for prom night.

"Never better," said Sirius, grabbing his hand, and they rushed down to the Great Hall.


	7. Prom

When the Marauders got down to the Great Hall for prom, they realized they'd been right about House Pride. The Prom Committee had decorated the room with all four sets of House colors, and almost all the girls were wearing House Pride prom dresses. If a girl's date was from the same House, they'd sync up perfectly. Most girls were wearing their House bracelets.

"Now's your chance, Reem," Sirius said under his breath, gesturing towards the gigantic mass of yellow and black emerging from the basement. "You said you wanted to dance with a Hufflepuff."

"I did not!" Remus's cheeks felt hot. When he looked at the Hufflepuff girls he felt a jolt in his stomach that he suspected had nothing to do with the fact that the full moon was in a week. "I-I said they were my favorite House, that's all…Where's your Hufflepuff girl, Sirius?"

"I'm actually more after the Ravenclaw," Sirius said. "I liked that blue hair. Now, excuse me, but I need to find my dates. Remus, since you seem so interested in her, I'll tell the Hufflepuff girl you'd like a dance or two…"

"No! Don't! SIRIUS!" Remus cried. In his haste to catch up with his friend, he slipped on the freshly-waxed floor and smacked his head on the edge of a refreshments table. "Ow…"

"All right, Remus?" James asked as he helped Remus up.

"I-I think so," Remus mumbled. James looked concerned again, but his attention was diverted when he noticed Lily Evans.

Lily stood out from all the other girls, but in a good way; instead of choosing a red-and-gold dress like all the other Gryffindor girls, she had chosen to wear an emerald-green dress, perfect for her eyes. True, her Gryffindor bracelet was around her wrist and her necklace had a ruby pendant, but other than that she was unique. Her red hair was styled in a French twist with a small silver tiara, and she was wearing white gloves. The gown had puffy sleeves (although nothing over the top) and was slim-fitting in the waist, but the skirt was wide, giving the appearance of an hourglass figure. The skirt reached her knees, and she was wearing white high heels.

"I think my heart just stopped," James breathed.

"Better start it again," said Remus, preferring not to point out to James that Lily was leading Snape by the hand. Evidently, he hadn't even thought to wash his hair for prom. Lily's emerald-green dress and silver jewelry matched his silver-and-green Slytherin tie. She hadn't done it on purpose, really; she just thought silver looked better with green than gold did, and besides, the House bracelets only came in silver.

 _Why oh why is prom TONIGHT_? Remus wondered in frustration. Was he suddenly feeling sick and woozy again because of his lycanthropy? Or is that just what would happen to any third-year boy upon being approached by an extremely beautiful third-year girl at prom? Well, the Ravenclaw was pretty too, and Sirius didn't look sick and woozy…but then again, he knew what he was doing…

"Hi, I'm Evelyn," said the Hufflepuff girl, giving Remus a smile with a degree of friendliness that only a Hufflepuff could hope to muster. Her blonde hair was in a braided crown with a black headband; her yellow dress was floor-length and extra poofy, and she was wearing a thin black belt. She wasn't able to fill out the top of the dress very well, so it was held up by two black straps. Just like Lily, she was wearing gloves, but hers were black. Her eyeliner was yellow and her mascara was black, but luckily she'd opted for pink lipstick instead of black. Her earrings were black and so was her necklace, although it had a yellow pendant, and of course she was wearing her Hufflepuff House bracelet. "But you can call me Evvy."

"N-Nice to meet you," said Remus. "I-I'm—"

"Oh, I know who _you_ are!" Evvy giggled. "You're Remus Lupin! Mr. Black says you have a thing for Hufflepuffs."

"D-Did he?" Remus glowered at Sirius, who shot him a huge grin.

"And that works out, because in Hufflepuff, we think you're the best," Evvy told him. "Out of your clique, that is."

"W-Why—"

"Because you're a big sweetie, that's why," Evvy told him, still smiling. "We think you're just adorable."

"Oh, um, thanks." Remus was sure nobody would ever describe Sirius or James as "adorable", and he wasn't sure whether or not this was a compliment. Well, if he attracted Hufflepuffs, all the more power to him…

"And even though we don't put as high a priority on it as Ravenclaws, we Hufflepuffs still think being a good student is—oh, I can't _believe_ she's letting him do that." Evvy looked at Sirius and his Ravenclaw date, then back at Remus with a slightly concerned expression. "She _is_ letting him do it, isn't she?"

"Don't worry, Sirius wouldn't do anything without permission," Remus told her. "It's just that when it comes to him, girls don't tend to put up much of a fight…"

Sirius had his hands on the lower part of the Ravenclaw girl's waist, but they didn't seem inclined to stay there. Unlike Evvy, she had more of a figure, which was clear to see given the slinky, form-fitting bronze dress she was wearing. It was strapless, and around her waist she had tied a blue ribbon. Her artificially blue hair was straight as a board, going all the way down her back and slightly past her waist. She had blue and bronze nail polish, blue and bronze jewelry, and a tiara like Lily's, only bronze. Needless to say, she also had her Ravenclaw House bracelet. Remus couldn't tell if she and Sirius were actually talking, or what else they were doing, but their faces were very close together, cheek-to-cheek, before the next song had started. Sirius's hands were playing with the ends of her long hair now, and her arms were around his neck.

"Good to hear." Evvy looked relieved.

"You know, he really liked that blue hair," said Remus.

"I helped her do it." Evvy grinned. "In our room, in the bathroom. We bought one of those dye-your-own-hair kits, and we did it together."

"How do you have a room together?" Remus asked her, confused. "You're in different Houses."

"She's my big sister," Evvy explained. "We share a room together back home in London. We did the blue hair over Winter Break. Mom was _so_ angry, but what could she do, and Lucy looked great…that's her name, by the way. Lucy. She's sixteen, two and a half years older than I am."

" _Sixteen_? Sirius is dancing with a _sixth_ - _year_?"

"No, she's only a fifth year, but she had her birthday in February." Evvy smiled. "Anyway, enough about me, what about you?"

"Um…I…um…" What was there to say? _I'm suddenly feeling nauseous again and it's probably because of my lycanthropy but also maybe because I think you're pretty and nice and I might have to dance with you and OW OW OW OW_ —

"What happened?" Evvy looked alarmed.

"Nothing…I'm fine…" Remus had just experienced a sharp pain all throughout his back, followed by a surge of pain in the front of his head. After a couple seconds, it was gone, and he smiled weakly, so Evvy wouldn't be worried. And there was no need for him to be worried, after all. This wasn't exactly his best day of every month, but it definitely wasn't his worst. The painkillers were probably just wearing off…

The two of them were interrupted by the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, addressing the prom-attending third-to-seventh years like it was the beginning of the year and he was welcoming them back to school.

"Welcome to Prom 1974! Slytherin, let me hear you scream!"

All the Slytherins obliged.

"Gryffindor! Have we got any Gryffindors in the House?"

Remus didn't yell, because it felt a bit awkward, but most of the other Gryffindors cheered, and the response was deafening. Gryffindors were loud people.

"Hufflepuff! Let's hear it from the Hufflepuffs!"

All the Hufflepuffs cheered; Evvy jumped up and down next to Remus, screaming, "RESPECT THE BADGER! RESPECT THE BADGER!" (This was also what they screamed whilst watching Quidditch matches.)

"Ravenclaw! I know we've got some Eagles here!"

Remus saw Lucy pump her fist in the air and scream while Sirius grinned. Ravenclaws were the most refined when it came to cheering, but they still wanted to show House Pride.

"Now seeing as I've never been one for fanfare…Professor McGonagall, start the music!"

Professor McGonagall pointed her wand at the record player, and it began to spin. The song was a little outdated (maybe a little under a decade) but at least Remus knew the first song of the night.

"It's 'I'm a Believer'!" Evvy shrieked happily, pulling Remus's hand. "C'mon!"

Remus was incredibly thankful that the first song was not a slow one. James, Sirius, Lucy, Lily and even Snape were dancing in one big pack right in the center of the Great Hall, every student at the height of cool, having the time of their lives, and…

"Come on!" Sirius hollered over the music, grabbing Remus's other hand, and he realized he just had to follow everyone else's lead. Besides, whatever Sirius and James did, all the other Hogwarts students did, because peer pressure is just as prevalent among magical students as it is among Muggle ones. It wasn't actually so hard. Listening to the Monkees reverberating throughout the Great Hall, dancing with all his friends, Remus was having fun.

" _What's the use of trying? All you get is pain! When I wanted sunshine I got rain…and then I saw her face!"_

When the song was finally over, everyone cheered. Remus was a bit more worn out than he normally would have been, and his joints were aching a bit, but that was to be expected. More fast songs were played; every so often, everyone would pause and watch the Marauders' group, cheering them on, then get back to their own little cliques. For third years, they were very popular. Sirius already looked like a fifth year, probably because he was the tallest. After an enjoyable brand-new song, "Rock Me Gently", things changed.

"We have been playing the most popular new hits, from the Beatles to the Rolling Stones," Dumbledore was saying to the class. "But every so often it is nice to play a song that has a few years to it. Young witches and wizards, grab your sweethearts; here's 'Can't Help Falling in Love'."

Some of the students whispered, questioning the wisdom of playing a song that was nearly fourteen years old, but they knew the artist, and Remus remembered listening to this song on James's record player several times in their dorm room, mostly while he talked about Lily. Snape was going to dance with Lily during this song, he knew, and James sat down (a little gloomily) at the refreshments table. Sirius grabbed Lucy, and Evvy approached Remus.

Remus could not tell if this was lycanthropy or if it was just hormones. But honestly, he thought he would skip this dance, because neither could be good. Evvy was smiling sweetly, holding her hand out.

"U-Um, Evvy, I-I just m-might…" Remus was going to make his way over to the refreshments table and inhale a bunch of chocolate frogs with James, but then he caught sight of Sirius, who was waving one hand frantically and mouthing, _Go on!_

"You might what?" Evvy flashed her pretty smile.

"I-I just might dance with you tonight." Remus smiled back nervously and took her hand. Sirius grinned.

Heart beating like a drum, Remus took one of Evvy's black-gloved hands in his own; he had no idea where to put his other hand, so he put it on her shoulder. To his surprise, she moved it down to her waist with the smoothest of movement, and she put her hand around his neck, the way Lucy had been doing to Sirius. As the song went on, she moved a little closer to him and closed her eyes. Feeling nervous, Remus looked again to Sirius for inspiration, but Sirius was gently but passionately kissing Lucy on the lips and he had one hand on her butt as he swayed her back and forth, so that wasn't happening.

"Oh, Remus…" Evvy was whispering, her cheek to his; with some shock, he could feel her heart beating as well. Could she feel that his was probably beating twice as fast? And was his fever coming back? Well, he certainly felt hot. And it was making his head hurt…and it was making his arm cramp up, wait, no, _that_ wasn't hormones, that meant he needed his goddamn Advil…

Unfortunately, just as Elvis Presley was finishing the song, that was when the pain hit, the kind of pain that makes you double over. Evvy gasped.

 _Oh no_ , _not during the dance_ , _why during the dance?_ No, this dance would NOT be ruined!

"Seriously, I'm fine," Remus told her weakly, and she closed her eyes again, apparently satisfied.

But this pain didn't go away. What the hell was going on here, it usually wasn't this bad, just gotta hold on until it passes, shit, _shit_ that hurts—

"Oh, now isn't that romantic!" Evvy suddenly cooed.

" _What's_ romantic?" Remus hissed.

Evvy gave Remus a little kiss on the cheek. "Why, it's a full moon, and a beautiful one at that!"


	8. Nightmare

What happened after that was a little bit of a blur.

 _I must have gotten the date wrong_ … _no wonder I've been feeling like crap all week_ … _prom messed me up_ … _how dumb can I possibly be_ … _keeping track of the lunar cycle is MY responsibility, not the prom committee's_ …

And then Remus realized he was still in pain; he was still going to turn into a werewolf in front of the whole school. In front of Evvy. In front of James and Sirius. In front of _everyone_. He had about two minutes to get out of here, but his legs and arms seemed to have frozen up—not because of the transformation, but out of panic. The voices in the background were faint. The first voice he heard was Evvy's.

"Oh my God, Remus, Remus. Sirius! SIRIUS! Sirius, what's going on? I think he's having some kind of fit—"

"What do you mean he's having a fit?"

"All I said was it was a full moon, there's nothing wrong with that, and then he just—"

Barely comprehending that they might be talking about him, still shaking uncontrollably, Remus felt Sirius catch him from behind.

"James!" he barked. "JAMES!"

Then Remus heard both his friends talking…everyone talking…but he could barely even breathe…it wasn't just that his body was racked with pain, it was also racked with fear. Excepting, perhaps, the first time he'd ever turned into a werewolf at age five, he'd never been so frightened in his life.

"It'll be over soon, mate, breathe, _breathe_!" Sirius was heard pleading. "JAMES, HELP ME!"

Next thing you know Remus felt himself being pulled and pushed at the same time, without much help from him, the pain getting worse, the fear getting worse, where even was he, where were James and Sirius, where was Evvy, what if everyone saw, what if he got expelled…

"What the hell do we do now?!"

"Take him to the Forbidden Forest! Hurry!"

Remus was pushed and pulled and shoved onto the ground. The normal pain of a transformation, coupled with a full-fledged panic attack, not to mention an abnormal upsurge in teenage hormones, had taken too much of a toll on his system. He was vaguely aware of vomiting violently, hearing Sirius and James take off, the most excruciating physical pain he'd ever felt, not being able to move…

And that was all Remus Lupin ever remembered of April 6, 1974.


	9. Discovery

When Remus J. Lupin awoke Sunday morning, April 7, 1974, in the Forbidden Forest, he was all alone. The two boys who'd accompanied him to the prom, James Potter and Sirius Black, were gone. The daylight was shining through the trees, but it seemed harsh, unyielding, instead of welcoming, as daylight should be.

There was a familiar stinging sensation on his arms and face, but Remus knew it just meant he'd bitten and clawed himself up again. Prom night came to him in flashes—the last thing he remembered was James and Sirius prodding him into the Forbidden Forest, then running away, and even that was hazy.

And now here he was, kneeling on the ground, his prom suit covered in blood and grass stains and vomit, hair and skin soaked in sweat, every part of him aching, but nothing ached more than his heart. He put his head in his hands and fought back the feeling of crying. How could he have been so stupid as to mess up his moon calendar? Sure, prom night had been occupying his mind, but still, what kind of idiot was he? It was _his_ fault he'd had one of his awful Transformations at prom. If he'd been keeping track, maybe he could've stayed in the dorms with Peter, or even gone to prom for a couple hours and then made an excuse to leave. Too many chocolate frogs, that would have sufficed. They'd have had no reason to doubt it. But now…

Remus felt like he'd swallowed a golf ball. Sirius and James would never look at him the same way again. He had lost his only friends. For all he knew they'd told the whole school, and when he came back—how _could_ he come back?—everyone would act different, he knew. Girls would scream; boys might laugh or shrink away from him in horror.

The week before the full moon, not-so-affectionately known to Remus as Nightmare Week, was certainly hard to get through; if it weren't for Advil, his bed, and chocolate frogs, it might have been unbearable. But this feeling, this awful heartbreak, was so much worse. Remus had never felt so pathetic.

In fact, he was so focused on his misery that he didn't feel someone touch his shoulder.

"Remus?" James said tentatively, softly. "We'll listen, if you want to talk about it."

"But it's okay if you don't," Sirius added quickly, dropping down onto his knees and putting his arm around Remus. "Oh my God, what happened? Did you hurt yourself?"

Remus put his hand up to his cheek and found, besides the usual bite marks and scratches on his arms and face, he'd left a huge, horrible gash on his left cheek. When he took his hand away it was completely soaked in blood, like he'd just tried to stab someone to death. Lips clenched together, tears running down his face and mixing with the blood, he nodded.

"Don't worry…" Sirius pulled out his wand and conjured some Neosporin, bandages, and disinfectant wipes. James grabbed the wipes and cleaned off Remus's hands and face. They were good at getting the blood off his hands and the vomit off his face but they made the wounds on his face sting.

"Sorry, Reem, but we have to get the dirt out." James sounded apologetic. "At least, that's what my mother always used to say to me when I hurt myself…"

"My mother never gave a damn if _I_ hurt myself." Sirius snorted with sarcastic laughter and handed the Neosporin to James. "Here, just take this, I conjured Neosporin for a reason."

"You might need the hospital wing," said James as he clumsily started to fix up the wound on Remus's face, first applying a liberal amount of ointment, then pasting on the bandages. The ointment did help a bit. "Madame Pomfrey would be better at this than I am."

"I don't w-want to g-go there…" Remus's voice was unsteady. Even though it was a warm April day, he was shaking. "I don't want to go b-back to school. N-Not ever."

"Aw, why not, Reem?" said Sirius, who gently put his hand on top of Remus's. Remus squeezed it as tight as he could. The golf ball feeling was still in his throat.

"Because now everybody…everybody knows…" Remus was wiping tears with his unoccupied hand, while Sirius held the other, but he was willing himself not to cry in front of his friends. This week he'd already cried enough to fill up a swimming pool; he didn't need to cry one more tear. "And you all know…my friends…or at least you used to be."

"What do you mean, used to be?" Sirius raised one eyebrow.

"And nobody knows except us," James continued. "We didn't tell anyone, not even Peter, although I figure we ought to let him know, if you're okay with that. We got you out of the Great Hall when you still, y'know, looked human. Before anyone saw."

"Why didn't you tell us, Remus?" Sirius asked gently, his voice sounding much more mature than Remus was used to.

Remus sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Because…because I-I thought you wouldn't want to be my f-friends anymore, if you knew…Y-You'll never look at me the same way again."

"Listen, Remus." Sirius looked solemn as he held innocent hands that had been dangerous claws six hours before. "If we look at you differently now, it's going to be with more respect, because you go through something each month that—that most people probably couldn't handle even once."

"B-But I-I'm just a f-freak, d-different than everyone e-else."

"We don't _want_ you to be like everyone else," said James as he finally finished bandaging Remus's face. "That would be boring. We just want you to be Remus. And if being Remus means turning into a werewolf once a month…we don't have a problem with it."

"That's right," Sirius agreed. "Besides, no offense, but we'd kind of figured it out anyway. I mean, we didn't _know_ , more like…suspected it. When Evvy mentioned it was a full moon, and you started to have that panic attack, James and I realized we were right, and we got you out of there. If we'd known it was a full moon, though…I mean, I don't keep track of the lunar cycle like you probably do, but still…"

Remus noticed James had his arm around his shoulders, and Sirius was holding one of his hands, and they both were smiling, as if waiting for him to speak. But looking into their eyes had been a mistake. He had been trying so hard to stop it, but Remus let a little sob escape. Sirius hung onto Remus's hand; James pulled him into a kind of hug.

"You're still our _friend_ , you know," James whispered. "We like you for who you are. You're nice, you're smart, you're a great friend. That hasn't changed. So you're a werewolf. Nobody's perfect."

"And we brought you this, if you're interested." Sirius withdrew a slightly melted chocolate frog from his pocket. "If you still love chocolate, that is."

The sight of a chocolate frog usually made Remus happy. It had never made him cry before…at least, not until now. Once he saw Sirius holding it out hopefully, he lost balance and before he knew it he was just bawling, his face buried in James's Rolling Stones T-shirt, Sirius squeezing his hand; he expected them to say something, to try to comfort him, try to make him stop crying. But they didn't, they just let him cry, and he loved them for that.

"Th-this'll go on f-for the r-rest of m-my life," Remus sobbed. "I-I d-don't want to b-be different. I j-just want t-to be…to be normal." (These words had to be spoken in between those big stupid gulps nobody wants to do when they cry, but it just couldn't be helped.) "I-I hate it! F-Five, I was only five…now e-every month…u-until…until I die…"

James didn't seem to mind that his favorite shirt was getting soaked. Remus felt like he was a "total train-wreck", to use Lily's words from the other day. James still had Remus in a hug, and Sirius was still holding his friend's hand; with his other hand, his wand hand, he'd conjured a box of tissues, an extra-large one. They were put to good use when Remus finally managed to cry himself out.

"You two m-must think I-I'm so s-stupid," he mumbled after blowing his nose.

"Of course we don't," Sirius told him. "Now come on, you must be exhausted. Let's get you back up to Gryffindor Tower."


	10. Not Just Pain Relief, Werewolf Relief

When Remus awoke he felt incredibly groggy. It was getting dark outside, and he was obviously the only one in the room. Even though he was still feeling only half-awake, still very sleepy, at least there was no more pain; his body felt the most relaxed it had been in a week. The nausea had been replaced by a gnawing hunger, and he realized he hadn't eaten in…well...when was the last time he'd eaten anything besides chocolate? No wonder he was so hungry—chocolate makes everything better, of course, but one thing it doesn't do is fill you up. And where on Earth were his roommates?

Remus checked the clock on the nightstand. It was 6:45 at night, which meant he might have been sleeping for eleven or twelve hours. It also meant that his friends wouldn't be back for at least a couple hours, because on Sundays at Hogwarts dinner was usually held at 6:30-8:30 at night, and sometimes they'd buy some drinks in the school gift shop and drink them in the common room after dinner…well, they wouldn't do that without Remus, would they? _Would_ they?

Well, maybe he'd just have to go down to the Great Hall and get some dinner for himself…but that would mean he'd have to take a shower, unless he wanted to look like Snape, because he very well knew he looked like death, which is why the "I was ill" excuse worked so well. That morning, when Sirius and James had basically towed Remus back to the dorm room, he had barely been able to keep his eyes open. It was all they could do to help him on with some clean pajamas before he passed out cold in his four-poster.

The common room had been nearly deserted that morning, since almost every student had stayed up far too late on prom night and was sleeping in. It had also been a mess, suggesting that prom had not stayed confined to the Great Hall, and there were empty tankards everywhere, which suggested that certain students were sleeping off something a bit heavier than butterbeer.

So he had three choices…he could stay in bed feeling hungry, he could stumble out of bed and wander down to the Great Hall looking like a zombie, or he could clean up nicely—but he was so tired…maybe he could just sit here…waiting…and wishing he had some—

"Food!" two voices chimed gleefully as the door to the dorm room swung open. Remus blinked as Sirius and James came sauntering in.

"J-James? Sirius?"

"Oh, good, you're awake!" James smiled.

"We were just about to eat down in the Great Hall, when we figured we'd eat dinner up here with you instead," Sirius told him. "We nicked you some food."

Sirius and James turned out their pockets, and sure enough, they had a couple boxes of food in there. Obviously, their pockets had some kind of spell cast on them—perhaps the same spell that allowed so many magical people to fit into one small car. When Remus opened his boxes, he found eggs, bacon, smoked sausages, hash browns, muffins, pancakes, and fruit.

"They were serving breakfast for dinner," James said. "Hope you're cool with that."

"I'm cool with _anything_ ," Remus said truthfully, shoving a blueberry muffin into his mouth whole. "Where's Peter?"

"Oh, he has detention to serve," Sirius replied.

"And you two don't?"

"Sure we do, but I'm serving mine tomorrow, and Sirius is serving his on Tuesday," James explained, grinning. "McGonagall knows better than to put us all in detention at the same time."

"Anyway…" Sirius sat down on the side of the bed while Remus ate. "How _are_ you?"

"Tired," said Remus. "I-I usually get this day off. Need a couple days off a month, so I can do well on all the others…lucky I even get to go to school at all…"

"There's no reason why you shouldn't go to school." Sirius looked a little frustrated. "People are so stupid. You're not dangerous _every_ day of the month."

"I know that, and you know that, but Dumbledore basically said that before people will accept me for what I am, we'd have to end the stigma surrounding lycanthropy." Remus felt downcast. "Not everyone is as open-minded as you two are. Most people judge."

"You…you don't have to answer this, mate, but…" James looked uncharacteristically nervous. "What's it like to turn into your wolf form?"

"Well, it hurts a real lot," said Remus, not really knowing how to describe the experience. "It's just…you don't have any control over your body for a couple minutes…then you just kind of lose your mind. I'm…I'm not _me_ when I'm in my wolf form, I'm just…I don't know what…a monster, maybe."

"And they just stick you in the Forbidden Forest to run around like that?" Sirius pressed.

"No, they—they gave me this…well, we've been to the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade, haven't we?" Remus began.

"Yeah," his two friends said together.

"You know the Whomping Willow? Well…on the day of the full moon…just as night is falling…" Remus felt his heart start to beat faster as heat rose in his cheeks. "I have to go out and touch this knot that makes the tree freeze…then I go down the passage to the Shrieking Shack, and—and that's where I stay, until the next morning…I would've done it this time, but I got the date wrong…."

"R-Remus, no, it's okay…" James looked worried now. "It—it was a stupid question, I shouldn't have asked—"

"I-I don't mind," Remus told him, but he could feel tears burning in his eyes again. "It…it used to be really scary. My first year here, they always had Madame Pomfrey escort me to the tree, and I would cry every time, and she'd have to lead me by the hand. They had a bed for me there…she told me, just sit in the bed here until you turn into a werewolf, do your homework or something, but I just cried because I was in so much pain and so scared…

"By my second year they trusted me to do it on my own, as long as I kept track of the lunar cycle, and of course I did...but that didn't make it any easier." Remus felt like his heart was on the ground; he had been sure he was finished crying by now. "It's still really horrible."

"Reem, your…your…your Transformations are going to be better now," Sirius said firmly. "We're going to help you out."

"No, Sirius, you _can't!_ You'll get yourself bitten!"

"We're not going to get bitten," James told Remus. "You see, we were reading up on werewolves in the library for you alone, Remus, and we found out werewolves are only a danger to humans. If you can't be human on the night of the full moon…why do we need to be either?"

"We can't keep you company as humans, but we _can_ keep you company as Animagi," Sirius clarified.

"But it's hard to turn into an Animagus…"

"So what?" James shrugged. "We're the smartest kids in school. We'll be able to figure it out."

Remus thought of what it would be like to have company in his werewolf form—friends he couldn't hurt, friends who could stay by his side until he felt better. The prospect was so amazing…

"H-How can I ever thank you?" he whispered hoarsely.

"It's our pleasure, mate," Sirius reassured him. "Besides…someday there'll be a medicine or something, something you can take so it isn't so hard, y'know, being a werewolf and all. Like you wouldn't have to have your Nightmare Week. No more of that Advil. You'd just be a harmless wolf, a real sleepy one…" Sirius punched his arm in the air and said in a perky voice, "Not just pain relief…WEREWOLF RELIEF!"

"And it would be a potion, a real stinky potion, and that slimy potions nerd Snivelly would have to make it for you every month," James added. "One _big_ cauldronful, and it takes him the whole morning. Damn, he could've spent it washing his hair…oh wait…"

"But I'm no good at Potions. What if he doesn't want to make it for me?"

"Then you bite him, and see how he likes it!" Sirius yelled happily, falling backwards onto the bed with laughter.

Remus kept eating his first good square meal in a long time, and felt himself getting stronger. Only after he'd eaten three servings of scrambled eggs did he think about prom.

"What happened at prom, anyway?" he asked. "Besides the obvious, I mean…"

"Well, Sirius was holding you back while I took care of Evvy and Lucy," James explained. "Then we had to take you into the Forbidden Forest because we couldn't think where else to go, we didn't know about you and the Shrieking Shack and all that. When we got back to prom, we told Evvy you had a mild form of agoraphobia and sometimes had panic attacks if there were too many people in the room. We told her you were with Madame Pomfrey. She said to look her up when you felt better."

"We've got all your bases covered," Sirius added.

"Speaking of covering bases…" Remus frowned. "How far did you _actually_ get with Lucy last night? Bases-wise, I mean? Because I know you slid in first before 'Can't Help Falling in Love' was even over…"

"Please, Reem." Sirius pretended to blush. "You know a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell."

"Since when have you ever been a gentleman?" James smirked. "And you did a lot more than kiss, I _know_ you did."

"You know she was sixteen years old, right?" Remus said.

"Well, I didn't know for a _fact_ , but I could sure as hell tell you she was older than thirteen, if you catch my meaning." Sirius gave a mischievous grin and held up two fingers. "I'm glad that bronze dress was strapless. But so form-fitting…not that I'm complaining."

"Sirius, you dog," James said, elbowing him.

"So where'd you do it?" Remus continued. "I hope Dumbledore didn't just let you start pawing at each other right there in the Great Hall."

"Well, actually…" Sirius was squinting up at the ceiling, as if trying to remember. "After we got it all sorted out, by then a fast song was playing, so we all kind of migrated to the middle of the floor and danced there in one big pack, y'know, like we did to 'I'm a Believer'. But after that, they played 'Unchained Melody, and we started making out, and, well…I guess 'pawing' is kind of a good word…so before the song ended, we'd shoved ourselves into an empty supply closet, it got really passionate, it was dark…well, you know how these things happen. But oh God…Lucy's very gifted…up there."

"She's _sixteen_ , Sirius!" Remus repeated, sounding a little hoarse, imagining Sirius and Lucy in the supply closet, Lucy's blue hair going everywhere, just like Sirius's hands, probably.

"Well, you know, I had my glory moment too," James said indignantly. " _I_ got my dance with Evans!"

"You did?" Remus asked. "How did that happen?"

"Well, ol' Snivelly did a total face-plant and wiped out in front of a thousand people right in the middle of 'Twist and Shout'." James looked positively gleeful at the memory. "And he really did have to go see Madame Pomfrey. Well, Evans wanted to dance during 'Unchained Melody'…so….who was I to refuse her?"

"Hmm, maybe it was that duck," said Sirius sarcastically.

As if on cue, that was when the door cracked open, and there was Lily Evans yet again, this time holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh, hello, Remus, I just—goodness, what's happened to you?"

"W-What?" Remus asked uncomfortably. Even if Lily was only a friend, a female presence suddenly alerted him to how awful he must look (and smell) right now. Spending a night in the Forbidden Forest as a werewolf does not do wonders for one's appearance, and Remus realized his stench must be dreadful too.

"You're all scraped up!" Lily looked a little horrified. "It—it looks like something's _clawed_ you!"

"O-Oh…" Remus rubbed the gigantic bandage on the side of his cheek. Down the sides of his arms were claw marks that of course he didn't remember putting there, all he knew was that he had, and he had a few on his face too.

"Mrs. Norris," said Sirius, without missing a beat. "They had a bit of a row."

"Oh, that Filch!" Lily looked indignant. "Anyway, Reem, I was worried, thought I might bring you some flowers…By the way, I have to tell you, I am _never_ going to dance with Severus Snape again."

"Why?" said Remus. "Because of his wipe-out?"

"No, not at all." Lily scrunched up her nose. "I think it had more to do with the fact that he smelled horrible. I mean, has he taken a shower _once_ since he got off the Hogwarts Express?"

"Probably not, the greaseball," said James.

"But you, James, you smelled nice." Lily grinned. "Now…if only you could get your head on straight."

Lily winked and left the room, leaving James with that dazed expression that only she could cause him to have; he didn't awaken from his Lily-induced trance until Sirius snapped his fingers impatiently so as to bring him down to Earth.

"It's like Beauty and the Beast," Remus remarked. "And when I say 'beast', I'm not talking about myself."

Sirius let out a snort of laughter (poorly disguised as a cough), Remus gave the heartiest laugh he'd been able to muster in ages, James glared at first but then started chuckling too, and soon all three of them were positively howling with mirth, tears streaming from their eyes, hands over their aching sides.

Remus had learned, somehow, that the revelation of his secret wasn't the end of his friendship with James and Sirius; it was only the beginning. And these three boys knew that no matter what Fate would deal them in the years to come, they would always be together, whether in this world or the next.

-the end-


End file.
